Editor’s note: Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard or shift keys and is unschooled in the art of punctuation.
the agnostic hamster
while going through my
college mousebook yesterday
boss i ran across some rather
haunting memories staring
at me in black and white
to keep from starving to
death through your college
experience boss i worked
in the dormitory cafeteria
you remember
it wasn t that bad partly
because of the camaraderie
that developed between me
and henry the golden hamster
henry was a delight boss he
had a great sense of humor –
he could balance doughnuts
on his nose and keep the
cafeteria crew lighthearted –
he was a model hamster
in fact boss he could have
passed deacon inspection in
most church pew underworld
congregations
so you can imagine my
surprise one saturday morning
when i found out he was an
agnostic hamster
how do you get faith says he
while we were putting out
sweet rolls
what says me somewhat
incredulously you mean like
in god says me again
alertness doesn t come easy
for me on saturday mornings
yeah says he do you have faith
uh sure says me don t you
no i don t think so says he
meanwhile boss thelma
terrapin a crusty old
senior cook came over and
heard part of the dialogue
you mean you don t believe
in god she asks
not exactly says he i don t
know if i do or not
what do you mean says me
well i guess i m an agnostic
says he do you know what an
agnostic is
we shook our heads no
well says he i don t think a
person can know for certain
that there is a god
maybe there is maybe not
now i m not saying there isn t
a god all i m saying is that i
just don t know for sure –
and i don t see how anyone else
can say for sure that there is
all of this did not set
well with thelma the cook
of course there s a god says
she who do you think created
the universe
a lot of scientists say that it
evolved over millions of years
and god didn t have anything to
do with it says he
in genesis it says that god
created the heavens and the
earth – and that s good enough
for me says she
but how do you know that for
sure says henry i would really
like to know if there is a god
or not
amos
p s – oops ran out of room
boss i will try to finish our
conversation next time
meanwhile keep the coffee
and doughnuts coming
