4/28 amos

Editor’s note: An avid reader has requested that Amos retell his adventures in the watermelon patch. Amos is a church mouse, unable to use the keyboard shift keys and unschooled in the art of punctuation.

amos in the watermelon patch

despite what one-time country
crooner roger millerbug sang —
you can go fishin in a
watermelon patch —
at least in the church
pew underworld but i m
not so sure about roller
skatin in a buffalo herd

sammy salamander and i
took a trip to the country
boss and this is what we
found — a patch of busted
open watermelons — that s
country talk for bursted
open watermelons

we thought we d died and
gone to a fruit-paved heaven
the field was filled full of
luscious chunks of red- and
yellow-meated watermelon
orange cantaloupe and sweet
lovely slices of honeydew
melons however our euphoria
was short-lived

other scavengers were
scampering across the
field including marcellus
the cat who had trailed us
from the church choir loft

look out sammy i yelled
a fuzzy-faced monster
is following us
and together we dived
into a red-meated
watermelon pool

help i m sinking in the middle
of this watermelon says me
it feels like i m in quicksand

yeah watermelon does
that to you but mostly
when you eat it says
sammy as he swam and
tunneled his way criss-
cross through the melon

but you don t understand
i m going to drown in this
sea of red mush says me

no you won t you ll hit
the bottom of the rind
soon says he nonchalantly

yeah but will my head be
above the mush says me
disheartedly and besides
i m all sticky in this here
goo — and these seeds all
get in my way especially
when i want to play

think of them as game
obstacles says he dodging
one and bumping another
it s a lot of fun — or you
can play chess or checkers
with the white and black
ones — it s all up to your
own creativity

who wants to be creative
when you re up to your
palate in a soupy state
besides i planned to play
and eat all day says me

let s go find a honeydew
and ski down its slopes
and wallow in its valleys
and taste its honey-sweet
brew says sammy elatedly

fine for you says me you
can move and wiggle in this
mess — all i can do is slurp
and gurgle and add weight
to my tummy and chest

by the time the sun had
set sammy had to drag me
from one melon to another —
and i m not sure which was
the greater mess — my hairy
little carcass or my dumpy
little attitude

but boss i eventually did
learn one thing — no matter
whether you find yourself
in a watermelon patch or
in a buffalo herd — you can
still choose to be happy
if you ve a mind to — a
few music notes here
would be appropriate