McGee: New toilets leave wife and I flush with excitement

By Grant McGee: CNJ columnist

McGee: New toilets leave wife and I flush with excitement

We put new toilets in the Stucco Hacienda the other day. It felt good to join the 21st century with units that use just a little bit of water instead of gallons. It was also good to have a throne that didn’t need a pitcher of water poured in it to help with the flushing.

The hulks we pulled out were old, installed when the place was built 40-some years ago.

The first commode was yanked out and tossed in the front yard. It was evening. I got the impression The Lady of the House was glad of this; that no one would see a porcelain throne sitting there.

It seemed such a shame to send such a wonderfully crafted thing off to the landfill. I pondered “repurposing” it.

“We could use them as planters,” I said to The Lady of the House.

“I don’t think so,” she said. This quick statement was accompanied by “The Look.”

“But it seems like such a waste,” I said.

“They go in the Dumpster, quickly before anyone sees them sitting on the lawn.”

Well anyway, The Lady of the House and I are excited about our new toilets. We pass each other in the hall, we smile and one of us says, “We have new toilets.”

I just don’t understand why no one else is as excited about this as we are.

The son had made his weekly trek from Lubbock and sat in the living room. I walked in and announced, “We have new toilets.”

The Lady of the House emerged from the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel. “Yes, we have new toilets, you should go flush one.”

He just sat there and looked at us cockeyed. Oh well, we like the new porcelain thrones.

After all, nothing says “Merry Christmas” like new toilets in the house.

Grant McGee is a long-time broadcaster and former truck driver who rides bicycles and likes to talk about his many adventures on the road of life. Contact him at: