HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama Sunday on NBC’s Meet the Press. It horrified his own party. Republicans who used to say they weren’t racist because they would vote for Colin Powell can only say now that the maid was like a second mother to them. • Sarah Palin […]
Oct. 21, 2008
October 20, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Joe the Plumber was hailed by Republicans Thursday for questioning Barack Obama’s tax hikes to his face last week. Reporters have since exposed him as unlicensed, behind on his taxes, and using a fake name. If Tony Romo had the same kind of protection Barack Obama gets, the […]
Oct. 20, 2008
October 19, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Jerry Jones was reported having a tough time Thursday finding a company to buy the naming rights to his new stadium. The products most associated with the Dallas Cowboys don’t need to pay for the publicity. They get mentioned in every arrest report. • Dan Quayle said Thursday […]
Oct. 15, 2008
October 14, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The San Fernando Valley was hit by wildfires Monday, forcing evacuations in Chatsworth. It halted production at the city’s many porno studios. If you want to watch Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac go down together you’ll have to buy the Wall Street Journal. • Wall Street soared 1,000 […]
Oct. 14, 2008
October 13, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Sarah Palin will host NBC’s Saturday Night Live in two weeks with Tina Fey. Don’t miss the opening segment. Sarah and Tina take turns saying idiotic things and the crowd has to guess which ones are jokes and which ones are Republican policy proposals. • The Catalina Sky […]
Oct. 13, 2008
October 11, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Wall Street staged a major rally after a disastrous opening Friday. The market responded to leadership. The rally began when Bill Clinton went on the air and reminded Americans that just because something is crooked doesn’t mean it can’t go up. • Baghdad’s stock market was reported booming […]
Oct. 10, 2008
October 9, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • The Cotton Bowl hosts the annual game between Oklahoma and Texas Saturday. The oil crowd is on their best behavior. They know if they spend too much money on alcohol and luxury hotels President Bush will seize college football and sell it to Citigroup. • Barack Obama was […]
Oct. 9, 2008
October 8, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • John McCain and Barack Obama had their second presidential debate in Nashville Tuesday at Belmont University. It was very tense. Before the debate even started, bomb-sniffing dogs went through the auditorium looking for Barack Obama’s old friends. • John McCain startled GOP debate viewers Tuesday by proposing a […]
Oct. 8, 2008
October 7, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush went on television to calm Wall Street Monday, prompting the Dow Jones to plummet. The more he talks the worse it gets. After eight hard fought innings, President Bush now leads al-Qaeda by a score of three bank buildings to two. • Sarah Palin campaigned in […]
Oct. 7, 2008
October 6, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • John McCain and Barack Obama hold a town-hall debate tonight in Nashville. They have made their way 100 miles north of their last debate in Mississippi. The Commission on Presidential Debates thought it would be fun to follow the path of the Underground Railroad. • O.J. Simpson was […]
Oct. 3, 2008
October 2, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush urged the Senate to pass the bailout bill Wednesday. It ballooned from three pages to100 pages to 500 pages. To introduce a bill with that much pork in it during the Jewish holidays must be against some kind of law. • President Bush’s low credibility rating […]
Oct. 2, 2008
October 1, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Sarah Palin will meet Senator Joe Biden Thursday at Washington University in St. Louis in the vice presidential debate. Americans will be rushing home tonight and popping popcorn. Everybody loves watching the Tournament of Imbeciles on Jeopardy. • John McCain’s debate with Barack Obama Friday drew unexpectedly low […]
Oct. 1, 2008
September 30, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was fined $25,000 Sunday for ripping a referee. It’s absolutely against NFL rules to criticize an official. President Bush came downstairs to work Monday wearing a black and white striped shirt. • Sarah Palin was in New York last week for the U.N. […]
Sept. 30, 2008
September 30, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Bill Clinton said Wednesday he’ll campaign for Barack Obama in the South after the Jewish holidays. Is he kidding? It’s been so long since Bill Clinton lived in the South he has forgotten that the only religion that matters is college football. • The USC Trojans were upset […]
Sept. 29, 2008
September 30, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Barack Obama flew to Mississippi Friday to prepare for the first presidential debate at Ole Miss. The television audience tuned out. Once the governor stepped out of the doorway and allowed him into the auditorium, the drama was pretty much over. • The White House held contentious meetings […]
Sept. 26, 2008
September 25, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush gave a televised address to the nation Wednesday about the Wall Street bailout. He said taxpayers must put up $700 billion dollars to save the financial system. At least when O.J. Simpson holds you up he signs a few autographs. • Roger Clemens was excluded from […]
Sept. 25, 2008
September 24, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Spanish police arrested a self-styled Robin Hood in Madrid Friday. He took out millions of dollars in loans and gave the money to the poor, and now he refuses to pay it back. He had to sit in jail for two hours before he was bailed out by […]
Sept. 24, 2008
September 23, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • Paris Hilton lost two of her pet Chihuahuas to a coyote attack last week in the Hollywood Hills. The dogs took a risk by going outside the fence and had to pay the price. That’s the difference between a Chihuahua and a Wall Street investment bank. • The […]
Sept. 23, 2008
September 22, 2008
HOLLYWOOD–God bless America, and how’s everybody? • President Bush canceled an appearance at a waste facility in Alabama Thursday to monitor Wall Street. Who’s advising him? If he wants to keep tabs on the economy he should have gone to the waste facility, because trillions of dollars were just flushed. • Bette Davis is on […]
